Gay And Lesbian Relationships

Let's face it: gay and lesbian relationships are often more complicated than heterosexual ones. Trying to create healthy, satisfying lesbian relationships is a bit like navigating uncharted waters. Unlike our hetero friends, we're not given a model of behavior, or even a timetable to follow.

Gay and Straight Relationship Models
Everyone knows how hetero girls are supposed to behave. They're supposed to start dating as teens, have a couple of serious relationships and subsequent mild heartbreaks in their early 20s, then settle down with Mr. Right somewhere in their mid to late 20s, in time to start having children in their late 20s to early 30s. Gay girls have no such timetable. What model are we supposed to follow as lesbian or bisexual girls?

If puberty causes us to think about both men and women sexually, are we supposed to start experimenting with both genders as teenagers? If we know we're gay from an early age, are we supposed to be out and active immediately? Once we settle down with someone, are we supposed to think about having children together? What happens if we have children, then break up? Without society's version of the "correct" way to grow up gay or bi, we're left to our own devices. We're left to create our own version of healthy relationships from scratch.

If you feel like you have more questions than answers about gay relationships, you may want to check out the "Dear Melissa" problem page. You can find it within the Members' Forum. Members can write in their questions to CuriousLove.com owner Melissa Steele, who weighs in with an answer of her own. Since it's a forum, all our members are invited to write in with advice and stories of their own.